Death and Rebirth: Behind the Mask
by Sheep and Wolf
Summary: In the cycle of reincarnation, the soul never truly dies. But the path it follows may not be the one we want it to.


_**A plot bunny I had to get out of my head. Takes place after the end of Bleach, with a lot of liberties taken, including character death that is not canon.**_

* * *

The sharp cry of dozens of voices filled the air, matched with the sharp swish of wind as their blades sliced in unison. It repeated again, and again, in a steady rhythm. They were the second division's newest recruits, starting at the very bottom of the rung and pushing themselves to become better. They were still fresh, eager, and innocent, completely untouched by the war that had ravaged the Soul Society only decades ago. In time, some of them would become much stronger, maybe even become seated officers one day. And it was Yoruichi Shihoin's duty to see that each and every one of them would become suited to their tasks ahead.

She watched with melancholic eyes from the balconies over the training grounds, eyeing out those that were progressing well, and those that were straggling behind. She wouldn't act on any of those observations – after all, that's what the chain of command was for, and she knew her officers were capable – but it was always good to see how the newest Shinigami were progressing. There were still plenty of ranks to fill, even after all these years, and it felt like it would take even longer to replace all the lives lost in the war that the Quincy had brought down on them. Some more than others.

A rueful smile appeared on her lips as she continued her watch on the day's training. This kind of militant discipline had never been her style as a Captain; she'd always preferred to let natural talent and ability flourish, to see the few exceptional individuals rise out above their peers. But this structure had been set in place by her successor and predecessor, and she didn't have the heart to change any of it. And besides, there weren't enough bodies to fill all the work that needed to be done, so the sooner the newbies were ready, the better.

Behind her, she felt the slight shift in Reiatsu and the soft sound of feet touching floorboards as someone appeared. She didn't bother looking, knowing the presence well enough; a girl who had survived the battles, only a recruit herself then, but simply living through that ordeal had made Shinigami into hardened soldiers. The girl was skilled now, even by Second Division standards, but none could ever sneak up on the current Captain. Still, she was also a testament to how effective the previous Captain's training methods were.

"Reports for today?" Yoruichi asked airily, but there was a seriousness in her voice that had never been present a century ago.

"Yes Ma'am," the girl spoke, sharply and crisply, "Security and patrol details."

"...and arrival details for the Rukongai districts?" she pressed, not letting her voice betray how important the question was to her.

"I-I'm sorry, Ma'am. There have been pressing matters elsewhere, and we haven't had enough units to allocate to the outer districts."

"Well then, I'll have to look into that. Surely we can free up some personnel from somewhere," she said, finally turning around. Her smile was calm and welcoming as she faced her subordinate, but it was utterly forced, a well-practised mask she had gotten used to slipping on. If Retsu Unohana were still alive, she would have sympathized with that fake smile. "Thank you, you can leave the reports on my desk. Make sure to check in with your unit, then rest up. I'm sure you must be tired."

"Understood. Thank you, Yoruichi-sama."

Her body reacted before she even realized it, her hand gripping onto the young Shinigami's shoulder like a vice, and her thin veneer of calm was cracking away. The young girl's face shifted to terror and she trembled in pain as she weakly grabbed at the hand that was still squeezing tightly.

"Never call me that again," Yoruichi said, unaware of the bitterness that was etched into her voice.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," the girl pleaded.

Then, suddenly, the contact was broken as two large hands pulled them apart, and the young Shinigami let out one last sob before vanishing from sight.

"C-Captain," the intruder stammered out, concern written on his opulent face. Marechiyo Omaeda, still the acting Lieutenant and second in command, and still the same oaf that he had always been. And, somehow, someone who had become an anchor for what had been left of the Second Division.

"I'm sorry," Yoruichi said, placing a hand to her head as she took a deep, steadying breath. "I shouldn't have done that, I don't know what came over me. Apologize to her for me when you see her again. No, wait, I should be the one to do it...I should find her and apologize myself."

"Right, yeah," Omaeda said, agreeing but not entirely comprehending.

There had been a time that she'd hated him, despised everything about him, but mostly that he was alive instead of..._her_. That he should have defended _her_ with every bit of his existence. But, over time, she'd come to terms with her grief, realized that she was only shifting blame to suit her own pain. The truth was that the loss had hit him just as deeply, and that he'd still been there to fight alongside _her._ And she hadn't been. Maybe she'd had too much faith in _her_ abilities, and too much faith in the Gotei 13 to survive against all those odds. But even that was just an excuse, because if she had been there in the end, then maybe _she_ would still be alive.

Even those scars could fade with enough time, though, and she had slowly accepted the truth she had wanted to ignore. There was an unwritten rule of Onmitsukido, to face every battle with the intent to win, or die trying. _She_ had lived by that belief, and in the end, died following it. The war had taken so much, and _she _would've thrown her life into it again and again until it was over.

_She_ chose a fighting death. But that didn't make it any easier for those that were left behind.

* * *

The Rukongai districts, where departed souls from the Human World arrived. It was infamous for being unruly and disorganized, and all but ignored by those in the Seireitei. And the Second Division Captain had quickly gained a reputation for making those outer districts her business, and sending her subordinates to sort through the mess as best they could. She would've liked to say that she genuinely cared about all the souls that were spread so far across the Soul Society, but the truth was that her motivations were entirely selfish. After all, every soul that was reborn would eventually return there.

It had been the one tiny blessing of _her_ death, that she hadn't died to a Quincy weapon, unlike the hundreds of others that had their souls erased forever. It was a painful irony, that after the Captain's had regained their Bankai, that _her_ life had still been ended by her own. Still, it had been on _her _terms, for whatever consolation that was supposed to be.

And so Yoruichi kept a watchful eye over the newly arrived souls, hoping for that small chance to feel that familiar trace of Reiatsu. But it had only been a few decades since the war, only a blink in time for a Shinigami, and not even half the life of a human. And even if she found what she was waiting for, it would barely amount to anything. Even as the soul persisted through life, death, spirit and rebirth, it was only ever the soul. Never the memories, never the heart. But she couldn't pull herself away from her vigil, clinging to that one hope like an obsession.

But in the end, thirty-four years, four months and fourteen days after the war, it wasn't her unit's patrols and surveillance that brought the first word to her. It was a hell butterfly from the Fourth Division, with a simple message: _Captain Shihoin, report to the Coordinated Relief Station, urgent._

And so she went, as fast as her feet could take her, until she arrived at the massive medical facility, where she was intercepted by the Fourth Division's Lieutenant, Isane Kotetsu. The tall girl was now the most experienced healer in the Soul Society, by a very large margin, and was the leader of the medical squad in all but official titles after the former Captain Unohana had passed on. The Captain seat was almost waiting there, just for her to awaken her Bankai.

"Thank you for coming Captain," the silver-haired girl said with a bow, still polite and formal as ever, even if she was just as deserving of respect now. "I'm sorry to call you here so suddenly. Normally I wouldn't bother a Division leader with matters like this, but...it's something you'll want to see."

"I'll trust your judgement then," Yoruichi said, and followed the Lieutenant into the building. She didn't know what to expect, or why a medical concern would need to be addressed by the Onmitsukido, but continued anyway, knowing it had to be important. And as she stepped into the medical rooms, lined with cots that were only partially full, she saw it. The breath escaped her lungs, and blood was dripping down her hands where her own nails had dug in, but she didn't notice any of that in the moment. Right in front of her was a lone Shinigami lying healing on a bed with a mark spread across his chest.

A Homonka.

* * *

She learned the full story afterwards, when she was able to control her emotions and gather her thoughts. The Shinigami was part of a patrol from the Thirteenth Division, dispatched to deal with a Hollow that had been causing problems in the human world. There were five of them, all unseated, but they'd thought it would be enough.

They were wrong. Two were dead before they'd even noticed something was happening, their souls snuffed out by the same butterfly crests. The rest had tried to flee from the unknown assailant, but the next two had fell just as quickly. The last of them, and the lone survivor, had escaped purely by luck, in his own words. He'd barely felt the first strike, the one that had marked him with the Homonka, and was prepared to die, when he'd been saved by a completely unexpected interruption: a stray cat, which appeared at just the right moment. The Hollow had hesitated, and then vanished through a Garganta, for reasons he couldn't understand, but he had caught a small glimpse of it just before it fled. He said it looked human-shaped, and female.

It seemed the Second Division Captain had overlooked one small detail, that not all souls would return to the Rukongai.

"There is no guarantee that it is who we think it is," Isane reasoned out, even though her voice was tentative and uncertain. She seemed to be trying to reassure herself as much as the Captain. "There have been a number of cases where multiple souls exhibit the same power."

"But it's rare. And the timing can't be a coincidence – thirty four years to live and die, and get stronger. It's _her. _It can't be anyone but _her,_" Yoruichi spat out in a ragged voice. This was what she'd been waiting for all this time, hoping for, praying for. But not like this, never like this. But the choice wasn't hers to make, and she would have to do what she could. She turned to leave, suddenly feeling a pressing need to get started.

"If it is Su-" Isane said, but was cut off instantly.

"Don't say that name!" she hissed sharply. The Lieutenant gulped, then took a small breath.

"If it is _her_," she continued in a soft, quiet voice as she was stepping away, "Then it will mean _she's_ reached..."

"Yes," Yoruichi answered just as quietly. "_She_ always had a strong spirit. It would only be fitting, that she'd become a Vasto Lorde."

"Be careful, please. We can't lose another Captain."

"I know. But I have to do this."

A visit with Urahara came next, and she had to dodge a few rules to make it happen. She'd slipped out of contact with those old friends in the last decades, all the former exiles that had stayed in the human world after everything. The Soul Society's needs had been so pressing at the time, and her mind had been elsewhere for all of it, shut inside its own cage. But now she had to see him.

"Dammit Kisuke, you know damn well what I want," she spat out angrily as she was making her request.

"But do _you_ know what you want?" he asked cryptically. He was playing coy, as usual, dancing around the issue and playing dumb, but she didn't have time for his games.

"Don't argue with me Kisuke, will you do it or not?"

"Of course I will. Anything for a friend," he answered easily, "I just hope you know what you're going to get out of this. It won't be easy, and it won't be what you're wishing for."

"You don't think I don't know that?!" she practically yelled out, and held her hands against her temple, trying to ease the throbbing inside her head. "But I have to try, it's all I have left. The only hope I have left."

"Not the only thing," he said, an uncharacteristic sadness in his voice. "We've all had to move on, way or another."

"I _have_ to do this Kisuke," she said, for the second time that day.

* * *

If her first trip outside of the Soul Society had skirted a few rules, then her second was breaking every single one of them. She was confident that the Captain-Commander would forgive her, though, eventually. Kyoraku was much more relaxed than his predecessor.

Hueco Mundo was still the unforgiving wasteland that it had always been; a barren desert devoid of life as far as the eye could see. Even then, it had become a little more tame in recent years, thanks in no small part to the current ruler in Las Noches. And not coincidentally, that was also where Yoruichi was headed.

She had to admit, there was some intimidation from walking into the heart of the Hollow's world, especially in seeing that gigantic palace standing alone, parts of it now crumbling and shattered, but still ominous all the same. Of course, she was capable of defending herself, and there was something of a truce in place. The Gotei 13 and Central 46 accepted that Hollow business would remain Hollow business, as long as it didn't spill out elsewhere, and Hueco Mundo would continue to be watched over by a ruler who was surprisingly reasonable. It was a pragmatic approach, more than anything; there was enough to worry about in the human world and Soul Society already without adding another world into the mix.

Of course, a truce still didn't mean they were on friendly terms, which she was learning quite quickly.

"The hell do you think you are?" screamed the short, blue-haired Arrancar. "You think you can just walk in here and tell us what to do?"

"Why are you speaking for all of us again, Apacci?" said the much taller and darker Arrancar beside her.

"You saying I can't, you damn female gorilla?!"

"Who are you calling a gorilla, you monkey?!"

Yoruichi watched idly as the two females butted heads with each other, even sharing an exasperated look with the third of the Fraccion present. They were interesting, even if one didn't think of them as Hollows, all with a lot more ego than was warranted. Of course, she wasn't here for a house call, and wanted to get to the point quickly.

"Why are you looking for this Hollow?" came the last voice in the massive throne room. Tier Harribel, the strongest survivor of the Espada, and currently strongest in all of Hueco Mundo. She'd been taken captive by the Quincies when they were exploiting the Arrancar to use as cannon fodder, but had been freed by her Fraccion when the Wandenreich had mounted their invasion and entered the Soul Society. The throne of Las Noches suited her well, as she cared more about keeping the peace than gaining any more power.

"It's personal," Yoruichi answered succinctly.

"This damn Shinigami's talking about hunting Hollows right in front of us!" Apacci yelled angrily, but not doing anything other than barking.

"And you say she is a Vasto Lorde that kills with a butterfly crest?" Harribel asked calmly, ignoring the outburst from her subordinate. "I remember a death like that. It was a Shinigami that wielded it against us."

Gritting her teeth, Yoruichi didn't dare to comment. The former Espada studied her closely for a few moments, and then simply nodded her head.

"I think we can help you."

* * *

It was hard for especially powerful Hollows to go unnoticed in Hueco Mundo, especially ones that survived and thrived inside the Forest of Menos, and even more importantly females ones that could draw the attention of Tier Harribel. The three Fraccion had shown her the entryways to the hidden caverns in the sand, albeit with much complaining, but no further than that. It suited her just fine, since she could move faster and quieter on her own, and both were important in a place that was infested with strong Hollow. Of course, there was only one that could be a match for a Captain-class Shinigami, and finding _her_ was the goal, but she couldn't waste time bringing down every Gillian in the area.

She never really stopped to consider how long the search would take, or how thoroughly she'd have scour the crystalline thickets, but hours after she'd begun, she started to realize she could spend days underground with nothing to show from it. She'd been far too reckless, charging off at the first sign, and hadn't thought any of this through.

In the end, it didn't matter very much. In her rush, and her desperation, maybe she'd gotten a little careless, and hadn't concealed her presence as well as she should have. Not enough for a minor Menos to notice her, but enough for a very strong one. And a powerful Shinigami was plenty enough to attract attention in Hueco Mundo as well.

The first strike came from almost nowhere, and if it weren't for the slight shift in air, Yoruichi never would have twisted herself away in time. Even then, she'd left it far too close, and a sharp edge cut a shallow line in her arm. Gripping tightly to a crystal tree to keep herself above ground, she glanced over to see the thick, elegant lines of a butterfly spreading across her injury. She'd never been so happy, and so terrified, to see that mark.

"What are you doing here, Shinigami?"

It was _her_ voice, she could recognize it anywhere, always. Except this was like a grim mockery, that stern and commanding voice twisted into something full of malevolence and rage.

"Did you come here to kill me? How shameful, that you'll be the one to die instead."

There was a movement in the darkness, but this time Yoruichi was ready, releasing her handhold and twisting through the air as she aimed a sweeping kick toward her oncoming assailant. The Hollow looked shocked as the leg dug into its side and sent it plummeting to the ground, clearly not expecting its prey to put up a real fight.

She could finally get a good look at it, and felt her heart clench. It was _her_, except like a cruel reflection of what _she_ had been. It's body was covered in a black and gold carapace, armouring every inch, but still keeping those thin, elegant lines that she remembered every day for the last three-and-a-half decades. It's face was a perfect mimicry, from the sharp jawline and thin lips, to the raven-black hair that framed it, just like _her._ All except for that jagged mask that obscured its eyes, showing only golden beads beneath. And where its right hand should have been was instead a single, deadly looking stinger, with a clear Hollow hole right in the middle of the weapon.

"You're fast, Shinigami," it growled out, climbing back to its feet. "But I'm faster."

It closed in again, even quicker than before, its movements sharper and more controlled, leaving less openings. Yoruichi reacted as only she could, vanishing in the blink of an eye with her Shunpo, dashing from tree to tree as the Hollow followed her.

"Keep running Shinigami," it called out behind her, keeping in step every single time. "Didn't even bring your sword, did you? Admit it already, I'm faster than you, I'm stronger than you."

Suddenly the Captain halted abruptly, pushing with her legs and manoeuvring her weight backwards to flip through the air as she threw a hard elbow out, catching the Hollow off guard once more, striking it squarely on the jaw.

"Stop talking," she said coldly as she followed it down to the ground. She wished she could say that she'd never heard those kind of words before, that _she_ had never spoken with such brash anger and hatred. But that would be a lie. She still remembered the fight that had been much like this one, when _she_ had been trying to hurt her with complete determination. Those memories still burned, when Yoruichi had realized just how deep her abandonment ran, and she'd sworn that day never to cause that kind of hurt to _her_ again.

The Hollow growled out again as she approached it, and it coiled itself in, like an animal backed into a corner, cautious but ready to strike at any moment.

"What's the matter?" Yoruichi taunted. "I thought you were faster than me."

It lashed out with reckless rage, its single sharp claw aimed straight at her heart. She twisted around the attack easily, lifting her knee and driving into its stomach. It cried out in pain, nearly crumpling to the ground before catching itself, and quickly leaped back to a safe distance. She followed after it, taking the aggressive now, and appeared right in front of it just as it touched the ground. It looked shocked again, but still reacted fast enough to slash out with its stinger, a wild strike made from panic. She ducked under it, stepping forward to drive her right hand up into its exposed chin.

The Hollow reeled back, clutching its jaw with its only hand. It looked uncertain and scared now, clearly never having faced an opponent that could fight it so easily. It _was_ strong, and it _was_ fast, but it lacked the sheer experience and skill that a Shinigami Captain trained for their whole life.

The last fight they'd had, Yoruichi had been backed into a corner, cut and marked over and over, and forced to use a dangerous technique just to win. But that had been against _her_, and this thing was not, just a broken reflection wearing _her_ face and bearing _her_ soul.

She looked at it with cold, unyielding eyes, and it stared back with fear, looking ready to either flee or charge recklessly again, but then something seemed to pass through its mind. The Hollow suddenly relaxed its stance, straightening up with its arms at its side.

"Your win, Shinigami. End this."

She hesitated for a moment, questioning the situation. Was this Hollow asking for an honourable death? But it didn't matter, as she stepped in for the final blow.

She had to do this.

* * *

It was an odd thing, to be sitting out in the open of a Menos infested forest and not have a single one approach. But then again, there was a hierarchy among them, a primitive one based on strength and dominance, and a Vasto Lorde's presence alone was probably enough scare them off. And it was a good thing too, because she had to wait, to see the consequences of what she'd done.

Beside her, the Hollow finally stirred, having been unconscious for hours. It was slow to awaken, only a small twitch and groan to start with, but then its eyes began to flutter, and it gradually rose up from where it was lying.

Its first reaction was probably when it saw its right hand for the first time, and it stared for ages before crying out in panic. Then it looked at the rest of its body, and clawed at itself, as if verifying that the hard shell that had once been its skin had truly disappeared, leaving only a human form behind. And finally, the last horrified scream was for the mask that no longer covered its eyes, the only remnant a gold and black crest running across the left side of its head.

Then it noticed her sitting there, watching with detached eyes, and it recoiled back, its hand bumping across the sword that had been lying at its fingertips.

"What did you do to me?!" it cried out. It sounded so much more human now, none of that primal rage left in its voice. Now it really did sound like _her_.

"I removed your mask," Yoruichi said, her own voice sounding so lifeless now. This really was the end of the road, that nebulous goal she'd always been holding onto. She hadn't expected anything, hadn't hoped for anything, but simply knowing that it all amounted to this shadow of a memory that she'd twisted and broken even further, there was no closure in any of it. A soul is reborn, but the mind and the heart are never carried with it. She'd known that, but hadn't really wanted to believe it. "I made you an Arrancar. Gave you a little bit of humanity back."

Kisuke's gift to her, made by request. He'd known what it would be used for, made it anyway, didn't even say a word as he'd handed it over. It was only his eyes that had pleaded with her, telling her not to go through with it.

"_Why?_" it questioned, still looking scared of its own skin.

"Because I had to," she said, almost like a mantra. She rose to her feet now, ready to leave now that the newly made Arrancar was awake, knowing that it had survived the process. It would be stronger now, a lot stronger, and she didn't want to stick around for it to decide that it still wanted her dead. "Don't go causing too much trouble now, got it? Can't let anyone have a reason to kill you."

The Soul Society waited for her again, back to responsibility and duty. She'd have to stop by Las Noches again as well, apologize to Harribel for creating a little competition. But, before she left, there were two words that she had to say.

"Goodbye...Sui-Feng."

* * *

Her absence from the Seireitei hadn't been met with much scrutiny. After all, she was Yoruichi Shihoin, and sudden disappearances were something to be expected, and leaving for a couple days was nothing compared to a full century. Still, her trip to Hueco Mundo had been noticed, and she was fortunate that Shunsui didn't pry too deeply.

Things settled back down to business as usual soon enough, to the training routines and patrols. And there were no rumours of more Shinigami deaths by butterfly marks, or new rulers sitting on the throne in Las Noches. So, all things considered, everything was pretty good...until almost a month later.

She was asleep, in the core of the Seireitei, surrounded by the Onmitsukido, when she was woken by the touch of a hand wrapping around her throat. No one had ever managed to sneak close enough to her to kill her, not once in her life as a Shinigami. Not even...not even Sui-Feng. But this was a monster of her own creation, and it was fitting that she'd pay the price for it.

And then she felt the wet splashes against her face, each drip falling rapidly. Opening her eyes fully, she looked up to see the Arrancar staring down at her with a sobbing face, and felt the grip around her neck loosening.

"I know you," the Arrancar whispered, her voice conflicted. "I remember you. _Why do I know you?"_

"Well, of course you do. I did this to you, remember?" Yoruichi answered, trying to joke to diffuse the situation.

"No! I _know_ you. Why do I have these _thoughts_, these _memories_. You're _everywhere_. You're in _all of them_. You...Yo-...Yoruichi...sama..."

It didn't make any sense at all. It was only the soul that was reborn, and the mind and heart should be gone forever. All she'd done was remove the mask, forced the Hollow to gain Shinigami power with the tool Kisuke had given her-

Of course. Kisuke. This had to be his doing, somehow.

"I remember watching you...following you. I-I remember fighting you, hating you, crying in front of you. I remember you _leaving_ me."

By now, the Arrancar's strangled cries had alerted other members of the Second Division, and Yoruichi could feel them rushing toward the room, hear their faint steps as they drew even closer. Omaeda was the first to arrive, throwing the door open with his blade already drawn, but he froze when he saw the intruder. After all, he knew that face just as well as anyone. More Shinigami appeared behind him, just as battle ready, but their Captain held out her hand, a silent order not to take a step further. Meanwhile, the figure still on top of her hadn't moved at all, not even acknowledging the solders that were ready to attack at a moment's notice.

"I remember..._loving_ you. That name you said to me...that name you said goodbye to...I..._remember_ it."

"It was yours," Yoruichi said softly, reaching a hand up and brushing it against the girl's cheek, still wet from all the tears. The girl flinched at the touch, but pressed into it, her expression relaxing as she found some solace in it.

"Welcome home, Sui-Feng."


End file.
